Nature Can Be Beautiful...Or Evil.

I return triumphant. It seems that myself and my boyfriend got lost up a mountain and had to walk four hours down a logging road until we got to Port Renfru (don't ask). Then we finally got to the family camp-out but I was in a monumental amount of pain because I have bad knees. All and all it turned out ok, but if I had died on that road I would have been very upset that I didn't die in my prefered way: Getting Shot By Someone's Wife, At The Age Of 80, While Climbing Out The Window. Dreams do come true sometimes baby!
Thank you for listening to my wonderful tale, if you want more details then ask.
Courteney

Cheers to litigation.

It appears as though Courteney has gone somewhere.
I'm sure she told me where she was going, I'm sure I was mostly listening at the time.
But I'm absolutely sure I don't know where she is or any idea how long she'll be there.

Thankfully, that's not what's important.

The important thing is a strong, firm commitment to litigation (a legal proceeding - a judicial contest to determine and enforce legal rights). As it so happens this word is closely linked to enumeration (a numbered list or the act of counting) and without enumeration no one would ever now which was more appealing to the average consumer: Coke (a very popular carbonated cola soft drink sold in stores, restaurants and vending machines in more than 200 countries) or Pepsi (Coke's rival), for no one would have counted the number of litres, cans, bottles and cases sold by each company.
As it so happens I prefer Coke and as it so happens coke is how I used to spell the word choke. As it so happens that is ever important to the equation because it is closely tied in with a childhood memory of mine and a handful of my classmates (Grade 2 or 3, when there I was sitting in the middle of class whilst we ate lunch with both my hands raised straight up in the air, coughing my lungs out.)
As it so happens that is a great hyperbole (coughing my lungs out), just as it is with the sentence: "The Greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return". As it so happens (as I am just concluding in proving to you through a vigorous logic) the fact of the matter is the greatest you'll really ever learn is a strong, firm commitment to litigation.

Think it over a bit then.
-Ali

Ali Dearest

Ali, sweetheart, baby, doll, lovah. i hope you are enjoying your day of working...i await your return.
this random message brought to form the random brin of Courteney.

A Wood Near Athens

A shocking tale of love and loss...really we are brilliant geniuses...don't you agree Court? Absototalutly. Have fun figuring it out...

A Wood Near Athens

Near a wood near Athens
(yes we said wood),
Two lovers lived like acorns,
falling.
Not all that interesting, but
It makes a good picture.

Both birthed by one doctor,
who suffered a curse,
and all the babies, he would drop.
These two, unfortunately, landed
right on their pretty, bald
heads.

He was a gallant, young fellow,
but vain!
His hair roots ran so deep
they ran into
his brain.
But, as he was blonde,
rhyming was not his strength.
So, the rest of his verse
shall be free.

She was a lovely, young lady
but prideful.
She wanted a wise man,
-to be his bride.
The vain boy she loved
but he was such a dud
and she simply could not
obey her father.

Her father was a tyrant
causing tyranny
in his insistence that she marry
the one closest to her heart.
He had married a hag
-for wealth!
And as it turns out:
Gold has no medical properties
for [curing] agony.

Hence they fled from
nuptials grasp
-of course they went together-
into a wood near Athens,
vowing never to wed.

In a wood near Athens
(a wood is quite different from a forest you know),
they lived.
Eating berries, and honeysuckles,
and dancing
in pretty, green, glades.

It was a mystical wood
with sand dunes and tiny lakes,
where the fishing wasn’t at all good,
all was peaceful,
no sound was heard.

One day, as they discussed
their fowl,
the fairest fowl
to be found:
How many chickens for dinner?
“FORE!”
Well, we only have three.

This must have been
quite the shock to the boy,
for he fainted straight away
(a faint so strong he never awoke).

Seeing a round, white object
the girl suspected
FOWL PLAY!
Reading the object, she realized…
Maxwell had struck again.

In a wood near Athens,
the girl realized her mistake
and wished to wed her beloved.
To a nunnery she travelled
and found an old priest
-too blind to see just who she married.

In a wood near Athens,
someone cried.
A wife,
sitting next to her husband.
Never a kiss they shared
that was not cold and hard,
for his
head
was now quite
stone.

A Muse, Me?

Another Poem From Our Fantastical Minds. Enjoy.

A Muse, Me?

How can you call me pushy?
I never
push.
In fact,
I am constantly
pulling
in the opposite direction.

Just because I’m
transparent
doesn’t mean that I’m
fragile!
Take this teapot
paint it clear
and stop calling me
demanding!

I will not
ask,
I will simply
entice.
It’s not that I eat
too many chocolates,
you just don’t buy me
enough.

Wish I could have some
Ice Cream
the headache would be worth it
but then….headaches
usually are.

There is a light bulb
hanging directly
above your head,
I feel like you should say
something brilliant.

I own
every word that you say,
every note that you play,
I did not write them
but I made them.

I can be more than your muse.
I am a muse meant
for greater things
and you know that you’re
greater things
solely because I made you.

Take the strings
from your piano
wrap them ‘round
this hollow wood.
Now, play me
…a concerto.

I listen
as you play your stories
upon your guitar
and let your soul
drip from your lips.

I can’t be seen with you.
You’ve dribbled insecurity
on your collar and
you’ve got heart
all over your sleeve.
I want a man
who shoots his own deer.
Why should I have to
aim,
point,
and shoot
for you?

Words fall down your cheeks
and splash on the ground
never to be heard again.
Evaporation works faster
then you’d think.

Let’s go
be dirty, wild, and cruel!
I didn’t want you to
cry
I wanted you to
cry out!

One day,
I will be a lounge singer
and there will be
men and showers
on stage beside me
(suds it up boys).

The nail polish on my
big toenail
is red
and chipped.
No, not chipped
…it just has character.

I saw your shadow
on the wall
and realized first
appearances can be
deceiving.

That clear,
blue,
stone
is the colour of my eyes.
but mixed with
yellow
sunshine,
it could turn
green.

Oblivious
to me
you continue
washing your hair.
Focus
can be a dangerous thing.

How would you know
I was stalking
you,
if you hadn’t been
watching
me?

Under your
interrogation light
I do not feel
interrogated
only appreciated,
I feed on your
spotlight.

Kiss me
and tell me that you
need me.
Then I can leave you,
I never go for the ones
who want me
back.

The clock counts down
the days
and my
impending death
comes closer with each tick,
talk
…about paranoia.

I find myself trying
to fit a quarter
into a dime sized slot
and I realize
I’m larger than life.

As I write
I feel a sense of
carelessness.
I care
less about the outside world,
more about the one inside my head.

I sigh,
not from
boredom
but from
happiness.
Funny how they both
sound the same.

Like Envy She Is Friendly

Ali, you know how much I adore our work don't you? I have some vague idea, however it would be much more obvious if you would express it by buying me diamonds and so forth. If I had all of Clark Gable's wealth you know that I would...but as it it...i'm poor. My boyfriend is never around, so, of course, I shop. It's sad but true...except for the of course. That was a lie...and quite a happy one at that. If you were all of Clark Gable I'd demand something quite different. Quite different... and sexy too. Without further ado...a wonderful piece of...work(thought i was gonna say something else didn't you?). Seriously, these poems are cool...check them out!


Like Envy She Is Friendly

Three years in the works
I've been building on a lake
that never freezes,
a well that never fills.
And when the well wouldn't fill
I broke the pail.
Somehow it would be
all the easier
if the idea of us
wasn't so obvious.

His kisses are so much sweeter
when i can taste Her lip gloss,
She tastes like cotton candy
and makes me feel
like a roller coaster.

Her pretty mouth is capable
of saying all the un-pretty things
that I want to say.
No lies
fall from Her lips...
I speak no lies either,
I just don't tell the truth.

She looks at me,
I blush,
She knows spite won't stay
behind closed doors
and the hate I desire
will not come
despite negotiations
with myself.

She lifts an eyebrow
and makes looming suspicion
the cutest thing
you've ever seen.

Her silence
is gold-plated
and the sound
of Her nothingness
is beautiful.

Like envy She
is friendly
and I was envious
when it was She
who slapped me,
deserving all but
receiving none
because She smiled
and the sun lit up.

She is the sun,
and I,
just another planet and
when Her make-up smears
there are a hundred
hands with tissue waiting,
watch us revolve
around Her.

She brushes her hair
and doesn’t leave
a strand behind
and Her porcelain mask
has no cracks, while mine
has shattered and fallen.
My mouth fell,
far to close,
to Her feet
and my hair
gets everywhere.

Even when She sleeps
She poses better
than any model in vogue.
She's the best unconscious
product placement
that the world will ever see.

I was hopeful
when I saw Her at the
grocery store
because I saw She
liked different kinds
of beef.
I just know
She never
eats in bed or
sweeps crumbs
under the rug.

They judge Her
from the outside
but if they looked
inside they would
have the same results.
Still, I long
to discover Her
and find the scars
beneath the skin.

She's self-conscious
of Her elbows.
I'm self-conscious
of my torso.
We both chew our nails
but She's too dainty
for gloves.

I put myself into
everything
that She is
and it is only him
because he is
good enough
for Her.

The Most Fantastical Intro Ever

And Introducing...The Most Fantastical Paragraph Ever...

This site will be dedicated to complete randomness and irony...yes, but it would be so much more ironic if we didn't have hands...of course, I mean irony being when you give human characteristics to inanimate objects right? Exactly, our hands would be inanimate(especially if we didn't have them)...but because they ours...they have human characteristics. Ahh, true irony. I love the way we think. Simply Brilliant Dahling.

Hallo.
I am Courteney.
I am nearly 6 feet tall with platinum blonde hair and blue eyes. The most fantastical part about me is certainly the heaving bosom. Of course.
And the most magnifiquint part about me is that none of that is true... except for the last part. But not the part about of course.
That was a lie.

Hello? Hello? Helllloooo?
Can anyone hear me?
Hello? Oh my god. I'm alone in the darkness.
If I am alone much longer, I may forget my own identity...
Ali, Ali, Ali, Ali...

(note from Courteney: Ali is aware of how dumb she is being...of course you can't hear her...this is a computer...duh. However she is entirely right to remind herslef who she is...it's quite easy to forget who you are you know. Ok, so that was all a lie. Except for the of course. That was true.)
It's not completly untrue...I once thought I was David Hasselhoff. I was running on the beach...and I couldn't stop. Oh, the memories. Then I blacked out and here I am. Now where was I? Oh, yes. Ali, Ali, Ali, Ali, Ali....