It's Only Ironic If You Don't Have Hands

2009-12-22T00:45:00.000-08:00

AHAHA I had the ability to post once more!!
You do have an astounding memory my dearest, darlingest, courteneyest.

I don't really have anything constructive to add
except for:::::

Don't get a boyfriend over 6'8" because he will break all your chairs.
This is what I'm dealing with right now.
In this chair.
And not even my boyfriend.

The Girls Are Back...

2009-12-22T00:24:00.000-08:00

...In Black (and possibly other colours too)!

The fact that this decision was made on a midnight phone call is excellent.

If I Let You...?

2008-12-28T01:57:00.000-08:00

So yeah...this started as an Ali and Courteney poem...and turned into a Courteney Solo. And to think...I was embarrased by Let Me...Full title of this one is ifiletyouwouldyoufuckme? But thats going to be unofficial I believe. :) Sticking with the "let" theme.

there is water on my
windowsill
be careful not to slip.

can I climb your Everest?
will you slide down my waterfall?

I am nervous. and you are sweet.
so you bite my lip for me.

I take this fabric off my body and you stare at what you’ve been
missing, wanting, needing, dreaming?

touch this!
now lose yourself!
touch this!
sometimes being demanding gets me
here
there
everywhere.

unwrap those hands from ‘round my neck
unwrap
or
squeeze
-you decide-

as I see your skin I feel fire
as I hear your voice I am flame

your hands are in my hair
your nipple is in my mouth
and my hands are

lower

crying and coming sound so wonderfully, deliciously, similar
make me sound like I am SUFFERING! please?

I want to disappear within your wants
I want to disappear beneath your needs
but only just for now
now. now. now.
NOW!

empty your everything
until this moment
is full.

Texas Boys

2008-12-20T00:07:00.001-08:00

hey ali,

a texas boy wants to do me.

just thought you should know.

--court

it's so true.

2007-07-12T12:44:00.000-07:00

RIP IAN

2007-07-03T08:57:00.000-07:00

Ian, you were someone special.

Both Ali and I had a special place in our hearts for you.

I always think of Dimension of Losses when I hear your name.

And hey, thanks for helping me run the booth. :)

You were an amazig person who managed to put a bit more cheer into everything. Thanks for that.

RIP Eye-An

The Youth Of Today: Hey Hey?

2007-06-27T08:41:00.000-07:00

I Think It Fits In Nicely Here.

Morals.

Most Excellent.

probly the best line ever.

2007-06-20T06:08:00.001-07:00

what can i say? it would work on me!

War...Huh?!?

2007-06-10T12:35:00.000-07:00

What is it good for? Absolutely nothing...except getting you stuff from France. Just like Courteney.

RIP Neil

2007-05-26T04:46:00.001-07:00

Sex: A Partial Guide By Betty and Al

2007-05-20T17:53:00.000-07:00

Someone posted a list on Facebook called "50 Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex". It is appaling that a girl wrote it because it's completely ridiculous and sexist. We picked some of our favorite points and added our thoughts on them you can see the complete list here: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2224421273&ref=nf

Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes most women want to talk and bond and all that shit. It makes men pass out. It's a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over his head, it's not his fault.
In our experience it’s usually the guy who wants to cuddle with us when we’re trying to “run away”. This doesn’t seem to be a gender issue.

Expecting him to always lay on the charm and romance. Sometimes, that's nice. Sometimes. But expecting him to be all roses and candles all the time is like expecting you to act like a porn star all the time. If you're not willing to do that, don't expect him to switch for you.
I have never slept with a guy because he was being romantic. No one has ever said “I just want us to be one and our loving embraces to carry us off to another world” and through that convinced me to have sex. Usually the romantic stuff comes after sex “oh you’re so beautiful…” and we all know that’s just because they are so damn happy that they got laid.

Using random magazines as a sex bible. I don’t know who comes up with half that shit, but I'm pretty sure they need counselling.
How about using random face book lists as sex advice? Is that ok?

Whining when he pushes your head down on his cock instead of stroking your hair. Know why he's pushing, skippy? Because you aren't doing it right, and have apparently ignored the other clues he's given you. Pay attention to the signals that he's sending you.
No guy EVER has the right to push you head down while you are giving him head! Unless you are biting it I am pretty sure it is feeling good. And if you ARE biting it he will NOT be pushing your head down. Seriously guys, do you want a dick covered in vomit? It’s called a gag reflex. Do yourself a favour and lay back and enjoy.

Expecting him to undress himself with any amount of grace. He's about to get some pussy. Be glad he bothered to take his pants all the way off. If it concerns you so much, undress him yourself.
If anyone ever stops someone right before sex to bitch that they weren’t graceful enough getting undressed then that person does not deserve to have sex. But do NOT only leave your socks on if you want to look sexy.

Not shaving your legs. I’m pretty bad at this myself. But if you want your guy stubble free, you better get out the razor.
Face stubble is hot.

Assuming that sex means a relationship. The only relationship you have is that he has now stuck his hoo hoo dilly in your cha cha. That's as far as it goes unless otherwise noted.
In our experience, these days it’s usually the girl who doesn’t want the relationship and the guy who goes all ga ga. Or maybe we’re just irresistible.

Withholding oral sex just because you're ragging. He didn't do it. Unless you want him to withhold oral sex because he's hormonal, I suggest you get some kneepads.
Oral sex is a privilege. If he’s in a bad mood I’m not going to demand he go down on me and hopefully if I’m feeling completely un-sexy because I am haemorrhaging blood he wont as me to go down on him. It would be very unwise of him to do so.

Expecting him to figure out what you like by what noise you make. Use your words. Have you ever actually heard what you sound like while you're having sex? If you heard yourself on tape, and someone asked you to explain what was causing you to make that noise, 67% of women would respond with answers like "I stubbed my toe" "I ran up the steps" or "I was putting up drywall".
“Oh! Oh! I stubbed my TOE! It HURTS! OH GOD! OH!” “*Pant* *Pant* *Pant* *Pant* OHHHH” *Pant*” “Oh yeah, I’m putting up drywall. Oh that’s good drywall. I’m going to put it up HARDER! Oh this is SO much better than the last DRYWALL!” I will never ever mistake my sex noises with the noises I make while hurting myself, exercising, and doing construction.

Getting your undies in a bunch when he talks dirty. A little fantasy can be fun. If he treats you with respect all the time, you shouldn't be offended when he calls you his dirty little slut. When he calls you a whore and tells you to come, its his way of showing that he cares if you get off. Stop being a sissy.
If a guy ever calls me a whore or a slut during sex I am going to hurt him in unimaginable ways. Talking dirty is one thing…calling me a slut is another.

Dissing quickies because it's not some slow sensual ordeal. Sex is a dynamic thing. There’s an awesome raw energy when you only have 20 minutes but having to have someone so bad that you do it half clothed against the wall. Readjust your thinking.
We were just complaining about how we could have quickies more often…like 5 minutes ago.

Being too much of a pussy to tell him what is or isn't acceptable before you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If he asks if he can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say no like it's an invitation, don't look surprised when he "accidentally" sticks his cock in your butt.
“No means No” ever heard of that? And a cock doesn’t “accidentally” get in your ass…you can feel it coming.

Undressing in the dark. If you’re shy, dim the lights, but give the man something to see. No ripping off the clothes and diving under the covers, either.
So this is some guy you cant expect a relationship with just because he has sex with you? Well he cant expect a strip show just because you have sex with him. He should be glad he’s getting laid.

Getting that bored look on your face. Men are more visual than women. Give him something to look at. Get on top and arch your back a little bit. Move. Do something to indicate that you 1) are not dead and 2) didn't suffer a minor stroke rendering you unable to move.
So if he pushes your head down during sex it’s because your doing something wrong? Well if I look bored it’s because he’s doing something wrong. He should fix it.

Refusing to let him take control. So your a feminist. Big fucking deal. Letting him call the shots doesn't make you any less of one.
If you’re that much of a feminist you wouldn’t be having sex…everyone likes being dominated sometimes.

Refusing to take control. Its ok to crawl across a bed to him on all fours, push him down and crawl on top. It's not his responsibility to start things all the time.
So we’re not supposed to take control or give up control. I guess we can just both lie there and hope we magically float together. Or both flail on the bed until his dick “accidentally” ends up in a very comfortable place (like the back of a Volkswagen).

Forgetting that he has a body that likes to be touched, too. Men have things like backs and shoulders and stomachs and other parts that are fun to kiss and touch. You miss a lot of good places by concentrating solely on his penis.
If you’re having sex, he’s going to get touched…unless you’re playing dead. And once his dick is inside you, there isn’t much to concentrate on…at that point the dick is kind of out of your focus area. Not a lot of options at that point.

Ignoring his balls. Seriously, they are there. Kiss them, lick them, suck on them, make a relationship with them, just don't ignore them.
Balls are a sensitive issue. Frankly they aren’t that interesting because they are generally big hairy balls. That is all.

Launching into some speech about not being an object for sex when he tries to titty fuck you. Jesus Christ, just push them together and enjoy yourself. You get a great view.
Because penises are just so pretty. Right…great view. If titty fucking makes you a sex object…what does regular fucking make you?

Expecting him to handle you like a porcelain doll. I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're not going to break, sister. So doing it against the wall gives you a bruise on your shoulder. Look at it later and giggle at the memory.
Kind of rough is ok. But it is NOT ok to actually get bashed up…once you start feeling more pain then pleasure…stop!

Bitching when you get jizz on you. You're having sex. That will happen. That’s the entire point of sex. Establish where he can and cant jizz and be done with it. Remember, it tightens the pores.
We’ve decided to save ourselves the trouble of telling every guy we sleep with where he can and cant jizz; we made diagrams (See Bottom of post). By the way, who figured out that jizz tightens pores? *EDIT* Courteney's should say that spitting is gross not swallowing...soooory!

Not making any noises at all. Moan. Scream his name. Something so he knows he's the best you've had, even if he isn't.
If it’s good sex I wont be able to help making noise…if I’m not making noise then he’s really bad…and I don’t think he should get the idea he’s “the best I’ve had”.

Not washing before sex. I know that sex is spontaneous, this is more of a general statement. If you haven't showered that day, and things smell a little...fishy...perhaps demanding oral sex is a little ridiculous of you.
We go around demanding oral sex all the time. “I only came over for oral sex. Give it to me. Now.” It is obviously a torture device we use when we want me to suffer.

Asking questions right afterwards. The woman equivalent of "was it good for you?". Now is not a good time to ask "What this means". Right now, it means he probably needs to take a drink, a leak and a nap, perhaps not in that order.
This is not a gender issues. Guys always ask me questions after sex…AND I don’t care that they do.

court & jared

2007-05-17T12:16:00.000-07:00

doncha know?

2007-05-11T01:34:00.000-07:00

--Court

This, My Darling Ali, Is For You

2007-02-20T13:27:00.000-08:00

Self Portraits

2007-02-13T13:18:00.000-08:00

Portaits

2007-02-12T23:58:00.000-08:00

So we drew each other.

Obviously in our absence from each other we're begining to forget...

The Tree!!!

2007-02-12T23:35:00.000-08:00

this IS the meaning of life.

Welcome Back To BC

2007-02-01T21:53:00.000-08:00

Miss Amanda Vandermeer!

we are SO doing this in jamaica!!!

2007-01-23T22:22:00.000-08:00

...for lawrence and ali, my darling ones...

I Got A Good Laugh...

2007-01-17T22:28:00.000-08:00

Thought we could do with some good old QC humour.

--C

Yeah, we ALL know who this is for!

2007-01-10T00:40:00.000-08:00

I am missing you so bad right now Ali...

...I'm in need of a hug!

I feel like I'm going to be sick.

Best Joke Ever

2007-01-08T00:22:00.000-08:00

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Gravity bong!
Gravity bong who?
Gravity bong filled with weed!

Deep Blue I Love You Truly

2006-12-27T18:23:00.000-08:00

Best Friends.

Finally a pic that wasn't photoshopped or taken at grad...

"Dial 'J' for Jake"

2006-12-25T01:37:00.000-08:00

Wow that made me laugh pretty hard. And I swear it has (almost) nothing to do with the drugs.

Heh, how many have I said that tonight?

It's been a good one.

-Ali

Ali, you should NOT leave Courteney alone!!!

2006-12-20T18:44:00.000-08:00

So this play almost rivals The Brothel...

In the play they are discussing how they have created a line of cars that runs on orphan tears. The creator of the cars drives up in a car pushes the horn and it wails "where are my parents? where are my parents?" Mike, my hat is off to you for writing it. Not only good at DDR and kissing but also at writing...

And just to add some more charm to this post I will reminise over excellent parts of The Brothel:

"How do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Fertilized!"

"What's your name?" "Mr. Annonymous." "Is that Russian?" "NO BITCH, It's obviously Scandonavian!!!"

Girl Guide: "Would you like to buy some cookies?" *Woman puts cigarette out on box* Girl Guide: "You burnt my box!" Woman: "Honey, thats as hot as your box is ever gonna be!"

Martha Stuart is the devil and Andrew Lloyd Webber is GOD! (typical theatre kids)

and finally the classic: "Aunt Jemima?!!? AUNT JEMIMA!?!?"

Yeah, I dont know...perhaps I shouldn't quit drugs...I am kinda whacked when I'm sober...

--Sugar Lips--

Twuuuuoooh Wuv!

2006-12-18T20:33:00.000-08:00

Ali and Chris sitting in a...car?

K.I.S.S.I.N.G.

lol..sorry couldn't resist...sooo cute.

-Courteeeeeeney!

An Announcement

2006-12-12T18:49:00.000-08:00

Ali and I would just like to announce that Ohris is a wonderful being. If we didn't have him, how would we spend our time?!?

Shaken Not Stirred

2006-12-03T21:07:00.000-08:00

So for some reason it's outragously hot that Sean Connery openly admits he hits women. Anyone else and I would be outraged...but not him..."Oh SEAN, HIT ME AGAIN!"

Yeah...I think Ali and I are kinda messed up...oh well...at least we're sexy doing it...

*sean...if you read this...call us.........*

The Perfect Murder?

2006-12-03T21:02:00.000-08:00

Courteney: (on phone) NABIL I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!

Nabil: (on phone) Ok. Let's talk this over. I'm going to come to your place.

Ali: (listening objectivly) Nabil, you know you just made it easier for her to kill you?

Angel Carrot Verbalizing Stick Arm

2006-12-02T17:59:00.000-08:00

Courteney and Alison on Skype
discussing deep statements made on MySpace and public web profiles and how it seems weird to Alison.

Ali: But I am deep you know
Court: Oh I know, you’re deep
Ali: I’m like the deep blue sea I’m so deep. People just call Deep Blue, cause I’m so deep.
[Pause]
Court: No one calls you that.

a goose named jude

2006-11-05T15:17:00.000-08:00

Nabil put our kitten smoking rant into a poem...excellent....except it's not really his poem...he just had a list of everything Ali, Omid, Me, Afshin, and Nabil said...but whatever...he can have credit if he wants it.

A goose named Jude.
But Russian is a completely different Elephant!

“I think you’re a legend.”
“I think you’re a lady.”
-A Conversation between Timothy Dalton & Sean Connery

Hey! PERSIAN!
You know why I stopped laughing? I forgot the joke!
A duck named Jude
It’s a good thing we have labels on all of our body parts!
When Simon was chopped up and thrown into the dumpster
The police were able to tell which parts were which!
“That’s not a leg, it’s a penis!”

You trans me late!
Simon: Oh sex!
Betty: I’ll wave to that!
(group does the wave)
Simon: One day you too will understand!
Ashton: Or not.

Icicles
Icesicles

At least Ali's clones dont have friends named Courteney...

2006-10-19T17:33:00.001-07:00

HowManyOfMe.com

There are:
0
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

how/'>http://howmanyofme.com">How many have your name?

the OBVIOUS solution!

2006-10-10T21:38:00.000-07:00

sorry guys...lotsa comics...but they are SO good!

I'm blinded by your love

2006-10-06T15:22:00.000-07:00

Mmm k, maybe I'm going a little overboard on the posts today but I have to make up for my hiatus right?

Anyways, Court, I read this and I thought to myself if I were to make a card like that for anyone, it would be you my dear.

Subtle Sister

2006-10-06T11:53:00.000-07:00

This right here as well as over here and finally right here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=DDCs3lmyvP4 is a video of Alix Olson and her poetry and I love it.
She's gay.
She's a feminist.
She's vivacious.
She's a little crazy.

It's beautiful.

I'd do her.

Just kidding.

Not that I'm saying I necessarily wouldn't do her. I'd really have to meet her first, maybe share a bottle of wine... a little romanticing... then maybe, I really can't say.
I think when it comes to me and Alix Olson we're just going to have to say we'll see what happens. Probably nothing, but who knows?

Anyways my original point for this post, which I am only now getting to is that I'm coming home today and...
Wheee!

Much love,
Miss Perry

I officially ADORE Afshin

2006-09-29T22:48:00.000-07:00

So yeah, pretty much I love Afshin.

Darth Emo?

2006-09-29T22:45:00.000-07:00

I just have to tell you all that it would be great if Darth Vader was emo...cuz then he could strangle himself...with his MIND! It would be freaking awesome man! Oh, dude, Ali saw Tommy Chong tonight...how fucking sweet is that?!?!

OMFG

2006-09-21T18:31:00.000-07:00

SHE'S COMING HOME TOMORROW!!!!! (which makes the lame ass title ok). :D

SOB

2006-09-03T18:23:00.000-07:00

(title open for any interpretation the reader may choose to have)

She's gone and done it! She's left me for Victoria. The pain is to much to bear. On a lighter note today I was watching beach volleyball with Kevin and they played Burn One Down...stoner music at a volleyball tourny...excellent. But I cant call her and tell her that...GOD DAMMIT!

-C*

A Birthday Poem From Our Biggest Fan

2006-08-31T10:00:00.000-07:00

Damien, I love you so much. Thank you. :) <3

Cherished friend

A stranger in the morning
Who comes to me through cable callings
Sees me through the early hours
To save my mind from going sour

With the quirk of a genius
You save me from a world so monotonous
With the beauty of a princess
Your now a friend so cherished

Our morning conversation
Or night time diversions
Have somewhat shortened
Yet I still cherish each second

One day we'll meet
So as in person we can greet
With friendly faces and tipped hats
We can moves from kittens to smoking cats

And on the day where we take the earth
We can each share an evil smirk
For now they shall see true theatre
With you as the leading actor

Happy birthday have a good one
Hope it's a day of free loving fun
Best wishes for the year
Forever a cherished friend so dear

Party On Garth!

2006-08-30T16:06:00.000-07:00

Ali,

Amanda and I would just like to thank you so much for the beautiful cake

and being a part of that wonderful night!

Water Is Thicker Than Blood...Well...Not Technically Speaking...But In Our Case It Is...Yeah.

2006-08-27T22:50:00.000-07:00

1.Your Name: Alison
2. Age: 18
3. Single or Taken: Single but you could take me any time you like
4. Favorite Movie: Casablanca
5. Favorite Song: Right now "Fernando" by abba, hehe
6. Favorite Band/Rapper/Artist: Queen
7. Dirty or Clean: clean
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings: Ears, but nipple soon perhaps... guess we're not going to get to do that before I go to Victoria
HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...
1. Do we know each other outside of myspace? No, I'm your internet stalker.
2. Whats your philosophy on life? I live life for all the wine I haven't drunk, all the people I haven't fucked and all the weed I haven't smoked ... yet. ;)
3. Would you have my back in a fight? You betcha baby
4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest? Of course not, why did someone tell you something? I have no idea what they're talking about, I mean who you going to believe, me or them? Listen I was drunk, and I'm just a very loving person when I'm drunk. They misunderstood me, I didn't say I was in love with you or anything, I meant it platonically. My words were slurred. I was drunk. I didn't know what I was saying. And I don't keep secrets, whatever you heard, it's a lie.
5. What is your favorite memory of us? Oh man... we've had some pretty good times you and I. Hmm I can't really decide; writing like envy she is friendly, watching those girls in bikinis, several other times spent smoking kittens but I think maybe it was screaming on the side of the highway.
6. Would you give me a kidney? Yes, I'd even pull an Urban Legend and kidnap some chick and still her kidney from her and leave her alive in ice in the bathtub. That's what I call love.
7. Tell me one odd/intresting fact about you: I can't really think of anything, which is kind of sad. Last week I had a little relapse back into my Visine addiction... don't worry it's cool, I'm off it now.
8. Would you take care of me when I'm sick? Definately, and get one of those stripper nurses outfits (don't worry I'd keep it on... unless of course it'd make you feel better if I didn't) and I'd take my job quite seriously. I already like to visit you lots when you're sick, selflessly putting my own health at risk. This lady's got a heart of gold. Hehheh... stripper with a heart of gold.
9. Can we get together and hit a club? Anytime after september 1st of next year. Or anytime after we get fake IDs or go to alberta... which we should totally do.
10. Have you heard any rumors about me? All these guys keep telling me you're the most wonderful, beautiful thing on earth. Which is obviously a rumour... I mean they were looking right at me!
11. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me? Er ... actually I think I may have called you a cunning little tramp when I coudn't find you last night. But with drunken affection of course.
12. Do you think I'm a good person? I think you're a good and lovely person.
13. Would you drive across country with me? Yes, that'd be excellent. Except you'd have to get your license first, I'm not driving the entire country myself. Canada's fucking huge man.
14. Do you think I'm attractive? One of the most attractive people I know.
15. If you could change anything about me, would you? No, one of the things I love about you is your unpredictableness, if I could just start changing your personality wouldn't that make you predictable? Not to mention you are at the height of mediocrity (or should I say the middle of mediocrity) and I don't want to fuck with that.
16. What do you wear to sleep? Usually nothing, sometimes a shirt or PJ pants or that green silky lingerie thingy.
17. Would you call me for no reason other then just to talk? I do pretty much everyday and often end up over at your place just to talk some more.
18. Would you ask me out on a date? Yes, I already have. We have under a week to go on our date! How terrifying.
19. If I only had one more day to live, what would we do together? I think we'd write some pretty fucking amazing shit and then sing our brains out and dance under the stars like mad hippies.
20. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you? Eh, just send it back to me. Actually we could post them on our blog. That'd be neat.

1.Your Name: Courteney
2. Age: 17...18 on FRIDAY!
3. Single or Taken: Single.
4. Favorite Movie: Dreamers
5. Favorite Song: Right now "Snakes On A Plane (Bring It)" by Cobra Starship
6. Favorite Band/Rapper/Artist: Right now, Hendrix.
7. Dirty or Clean: clean
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings: Ears pierced...and SOON my TATTOO!
HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...
1. Do we know each other outside of myspace? No, everything I know about you I learned from reading between the lines in your "About Me" section. I'm very perceptive.
2. Whats your philosophy on life? PEACE!
3. Would you have my back in a fight? For Totally!
4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest? Of course not. The truth hurts, deal with it.
5. What is your favorite memory of us? Oh man... we've had some pretty good times you and I. Hmm I can't really decide; writing like envy she is friendly, watching those girls in bikinis, several other times spent smoking kittens, screaming on the side of the highway but I think it was watching John Tucker...what a great day.
6. Would you give me a kidney? Yes, even if we were the wrong blood type I would...it's the thought that counts!
7. Tell me one odd/intresting fact about you: I'm a PIRATE!
8. Would you take care of me when I'm sick? Definately, after all you always take care of me.
9. Can we get together and hit a club? I'll hit you WITH a club...if you really want me too. The first rule about fight club is you dont talk about fight club. the second rule about fight club is you dont talk about fight club. wait...does typing about it count?
10. Have you heard any rumors about me? Generally when ppl start talking about crap like that I shut my ears off...seriously I have a switch!
11. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me? You've never given me a reason to...you'd better watch it...
12. Do you think I'm a good person? I think you're marvelous dahling.
13. Would you drive across country with me? Yes, that'd be excellent.
14. Do you think I'm attractive? One of the most attractive people I know. Seriously fucking hot.
15. If you could change anything about me, would you? You know...you could stand to be a little bit more like Blake.
16. What do you wear to sleep? Usually nothing.
17. Would you call me for no reason other then just to talk? OMG! What a waste of phone time...obviously YES!
18. Would you ask me out on a date? Yes.
19. If I only had one more day to live, what would we do together? I think we'd write some pretty fucking amazing shit and then sing our brains out and dance under the stars like mad hippies.
20. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you? We just put a myspace survey on our blog...I think my life may be ending.

Now THAT'S a super-villian!!! He even beats Uma as Poison Ivy!

2006-08-26T00:19:00.000-07:00

the saga continues...

2006-08-24T23:02:00.000-07:00

he's everywhere...especially on this blog...ponders

2006-08-23T18:23:00.000-07:00

Man Vs. Nature

2006-08-22T23:35:00.000-07:00

"I AM the tar! I AM the rock!"

All of you should try walking barefoot through a mall parking lot...it bonds you with nature...what a wonderful thing. Ah, the things you learn while sitting in Starbucks occasionally staring at adorable baristas.

What A Beautiful Marriage

2006-08-20T01:25:00.000-07:00

Ali and Courteney would like you to consider the following:

We LOVE that butler.

Thank You.

FUCKING ACTION!

2006-08-18T15:49:00.000-07:00

"MAY-DAYYYYY!"

Lol...sorry. That was me, paying homage to the lovely movie Ali, Cory, and I watched the other night. Good times, good times.

Anyways, this post is to inform you all that Ironywasalreadytaken now has it's own Deviant Art account. I know, excellent right?

http://ironywasalreadytaken.deviantart.com/

Check it out beautiful people!!!

Peace,
Court

Jumping On The Boat

2006-08-08T20:56:00.000-07:00

It seems to have worked for many other people, so we thought we'd try it as well:

SNAKES ON A PLANE!!!!!!

Nope, not famous yet...

We love you Damien!

Betty and Al.

Pussycats, Destiny, George, and Fuzzy Green Balls!

2006-08-04T00:54:00.000-07:00

Ok...this is a slight rant.

Dont you think that the Pussycat Dolls of today is just a catfight (no pun intended) waiting to happen?
I mean, you take a bunch of semi-famous, kinda-talented, sorta-trashy, super hot girls and put them in a group and then decide that one of them is going to be the "main" girl who gets all the best singing parts, is in the middle of all the videos, and is the center of attention.
Come on...tell me that those girls aren't always fighting...it's even worse than Destiny's Child when they were playing the "survivor" game and voting everyone out of the group.
The best part about that was when they actually released a song called survivor. Oh the little ironys of life.
Anyways, I just figured maybe you'd appreciate that...I'm going to go keep listening to George Michael...Faith is ridiculously catchy (songs with clapping are awesome) ...and I figure since it's pride week I shall listen to as much George and Elton as I want.

Oh, before I go I shall tell you a little Elton story that I have:The first Elton song that I actually awknowledged as an Elton song was Dont Go Breaking My Heart. I saw it on Much Pop Up Video. Anyways, one of the pop ups said "What does Elton John and tennis have in common?" and the answer was "Fuzzy green balls." So that is my first real Elton memory. Some things are just worth remembering.

*NOTE* This is actually taken from my blog and before that it was taken from a late night e-mail to Nabil. I feel bad for the guy...I'm always e-mailing him my stupid opinions. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my slight rant. Courts

Gone Awry

2006-08-01T22:02:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's true! A new poem from the fantabulous minds of Courteney and Alison. This one actually ties in with our other poems and some of our blog entries. So you wonderful people may be the only ones who understand it. Too many kittens if ya know what I'm saying. Anyways it is entitled Gone Awry.

A night of plotting
Gone awry.
The order of words
Just isn’t
Sequential.
Sometimes confusion
Makes the most sense…

My heart is not good
For transportation
Because
When I’m not with you
It gets so…

…

….heavy.

Take this distance between
Me and you…and erase it.
Thoughts are quicker when sent
From the heart.
Forget your mind,
Please.

Talking about your poetry
Transfixes me
And makes me
Eager.
The sound of crickets
Is sometimes more obvious
Than silence
And I am oblivious
To it all.
Everything:
…take me.

I live for those moments
When I’m so close to your lips
That I--well you know the feeling--
Beyond…lust…
Love you.

These beautiful chords
Pour from my throat.
This is bliss
This is agony.
How could the world exist
Without this feeling?
They day my life ended
Was the day
The music died.

An object has never
Captivated my heart like this
Before.
Does this make me a bad person?
No, it feels too
Right.
Tock about fate.

Standing on the dark banister.
Look from beneath.
Your eyes are shaded.
You are my mystery.
Am I your clue?

(mustard)

(lead pipe)

(hall)

Time is of the essence
In work and love…
As for war…
Well you’ll have to tell me.

Crackers and cheese are
Wonderful.
I feel great love for them and the
Crumbs they leave behind.
Sparkle love
Brightens the world ahead.

My forth grade picture
Is stunning
But I doubt I’d call it
Smashing.
My nails are chipped and
Blackened
I wonder what that could be
From?

This lip print
Left on your cheek
Is intriguing.
I must meet the owner
Of such perfect
Lips.

These black
Elbow-length
Gloves
Makes these pale arms
Blend with the darkness
Perfect for someone who’s
Self-conscious of her
Elbows.

Birds and gypsies
Have never been as free
As this.
Are you a gypsy?
I’ll need my red dress.
You can press the zipper
Down my spine.

Undo my dress so I can
Become my
Other self
Let her loose.

We’ll push against each other
Until we meld together
Or is that melt?
Drip drip drip.

Undone I am unwilling
To be
Closed up
Ever again.

Being warped
Has never been
So in style.
Bend me baby!

…Stayed up too late
What else is new?
Late is a real time for me.
But I begin to wonder…
How late is really…
Too late?
We’re young
We have the rest of our lives.
But I don’t have the rest of my life.
I need you.
NOW!
Need I remind you:
*whoosh*

Sigh

2006-07-28T12:02:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it makes me so happy knowing that random strangers have the same sense of humor as I do. Hitler and Morals, Hitler and Conscience...very similar no? Of course I never thought of the red evening gown...it's a nice touch.

-Courts-

AND I'M BACK!

2006-07-27T02:09:00.000-07:00

so...
...yeah...
...i'm back...
...wow...
...that was anti-climactic.

-C

Na Na Na

2006-07-15T15:02:00.000-07:00

Ali Darling,
I shall miss you dreadfully in my absence.
Have a fabulous time and smoke some kittens and spaniels in my absence.
I shall be scheming and dreaming up ways to make us rich, rich, rich!
The we can marry for love the first time instead of the third time.
Missing you most regretfully,
Courteney

"The Hill!"

2006-07-13T22:14:00.000-07:00

See title of post.

We came, we saw, we couldn't care less

2006-07-12T19:06:00.000-07:00

A glorious picture of us, I am especially fond of the way my stray hair frames Courteney's eye.
At any rate, we lived through high school.
Go us.

From The Minds Of: Courteney and Lua

2006-07-11T00:31:00.000-07:00

Written by Myself and Lua on one very strange day of fun.

She looked out on the road her voice was shrill from screaming and her legs ached from running and although she had had been there for hours there was still no one….it was just her. And then there was a man…in black…walking towards her in the dark night.
Then randomly the person from the above paragraphs died. His finger fell off and all the blood came leaking from them. His girl friend Paulie wept, wept, wept until her eyes were dried and she couldn’t see for the tears and her red swollen lids. She moved away to Kamloops to get away from the memories.
The sunset was the oddest shade of orange that Qweenie had ever seen….slowly the dog tilted his head and turned and walked home…what a queer night.
She reached up with trembling hands. God he was gorgeous. Her fingers traced every dip and line of his ears, her feet brushed up and down his strong calves and sticking her mouth right in those perfect ears she whispered:
Darkness.

This Weeks History Lesson Brought To You By: Courteney and Questionable Content

2006-07-05T11:36:00.000-07:00

Ok, so now I'm laughing because the title of this post reminds me of the song SessaMia Street:

"Whats today's letter Big Bird?"

"BONG!"

And then that reminds me of Travis getting drunk and singing the song in a "Kremit" the frog voice.

And then that reminds me of....

Yeah, I'm not gonna go there.

Hot? Or Not!

2006-06-26T18:25:00.000-07:00

As my lovely friend, Alison (I'm sure you know her well), and I sat on the banks of Top Bridge the other day, this was the view we were, umm, "treated" too.
It was quite humorous actually as Alison and I were wearing jeans and rocker tees and sitting on a blanket drinking tea, writing poetry, and smoking...kittens and spaniels. And they were sitting on the other side of the river talking on cell phones, playing with their little dog, tanning, and doing everything possible to make everyone look at them.
Alison and I found it quite excellent that we are about 36000 times cooler than they are and yet they dont realize that.
Oh, teenagers these days.

*Note* Damien has just informed me that I was not exactly fair during the writing of this post because I overlooked the fact that Ali and I are cooler than anyone.

I, Courteney Malek, apologize for not being fair.

Master Peace

2006-06-21T22:46:00.000-07:00

-this is not supposed to make sense...it is the ponderings of ali and courteney aka betty and al-

Ponderings Atop This Rock.

this palm is the living space for
grains of sand.
slide through these fingers
infinite piece of earth…
…the wind is not your enemy.

the surface is not so rough and crude
on the rock where you once sat
-unmanufactured paradise.

oblivion will be lava-covered
beautiful moments in time.

red tea spilling
…the tears of an unfinished pot.
my third eye unveils
-no surprises-
only certainty.

the things that you write
look mystic.
it’s part of what makes you so
…surreal…

it’s weird to think
that half of these thoughts
come from something
other than
consciousness.
like what’s running a marathon
through my head
right now:

no. now. kno.
you know.

this masterpiece
-wrapped in
skin and muscles-
asking if you need a ride home
is even more obvious
than poetry!

muscles are powerful.
my head fills with thoughts of…
…sex
no surprise there
but most definitely
there is certainty.
the fact that you are
infatuating
makes me seek you more and more.

she thinks her giggles
sound like dragonflies
but really they are
ants.

your lies
are more truthful
than 10 000 of my
truths!

the texture of water should not be under estimated
it is a force-
lust. lust for life. lust.

you translate me pretty good:
you are quite good at translating
the things I say.

your translation is like
an artist painting
a landscape…
unveiling the truth
through beauty seldom seen.

is what your saving for last
best?
or is it something better?

5:15 is as good
a time as any
to do…what you do
so go on…
do.

A Thought

2006-06-21T21:21:00.000-07:00

Painting landscape art is: taking a landscape and putting it through a divine being (person) and it coming out as something beautiful and true-that is impresionism.

A Prayer

2006-06-15T07:27:00.000-07:00

"There is a bug on my prayer book."-Nabil.

Tofino, Careers, Princesses, And More! All Just $9.99 plus tax

2006-06-10T19:16:00.000-07:00

"It's been 3 hours... I haven't brushed my teeth and the plaque is running rampant. But will she let me use the washroom? Noooo. Why? Because she's a princess! A reigning horror! The plaque is slowing making it's way from my teeth to the back of my throat... the nose, ears, and mouth are all connected to the brain you know and just guess where it's going next. I'm trapped here, forced to allow her to mess with my mind with her airs. And I'll tell you her airs are more lethal than the airs which crawls off individuals with bad B.O. I'd give anything for a toothbrush, even my hands. But I won't because she'd just revel in the irony of it all. I yearn so..."

"Yes Yes. I am a Princess (whoosh) and she is a Drama Queen...and I am being completely serious on both accounts. I mean honest to goodness...3 hours...hello? ADD much Ali? Besides why would you have a toothbrush at my house? Oh, wait...right I forgot...you're a creepy stalker who dosn't even have a good concept of what to do for a career...I mean can you just IMAGINE us running a hotel in Tofino?"

"Now she's preying molar on my lack of direction in life. Decay how does she expect to have direction when I am so confined here. I've developed closterphobia so quickly and so strongly in such a period cavity of time. She'll call the doctor's of course bacteria and pretend like she herself discover this instanteous mental marvel of my closterphobia enamel. A pox upon this castle and her herth."

"Of course I could never work at a hotel in Tofino...oh by the way ignore Ali, all the so called "plaque" is affecting her brain. Now where was I? Oh, Tofino and hotels. First of all, there are no hotels in Tofino, thank god...that would ruin the entire POINT of Tofino. Secondly, I am a Princess (whoosh) and we dont work. But of course I could still live in Tofino and surf and hang out and smoke...kittens...yes...kittens (note: thanks rick)."

"Ah yes, she would want to smoke... kittens. Anyone with any sort of balls smokes terriers. Not that anyone wants to see a princess with balls mind you. On the other hand if I were to say... get into some bedroom roleplay about knights and princesses, I'd rather be the knight so there's about a 50% chance that the princess would have balls in that scenario. I'm less of a swooner, more of a pilager. Which would make me less of a knight and more of a... pirate! The pilaging, the desperate need of a good tooth cleaning... definate pirate. Johnny Depp could be my first mate.
On second thought I'd really prefer to have Geoffrey Rush as my first mate... what a grin. Too much a man for any princess to handle."

"This Princess is perfectly capable of handling any Prince, Pirate, Vampire, Zombie, or Kitten that comes her way. I would be the wench on a pirate ship and the captain would be Bob Hope and the first mate would be Bing Crosby. Mmmm the rivalry...and the singing...and the rivalry. Oh and as a side note I would like to say that as hot as Mark Wahlberg is at the end of Rock Star he was once Marky Mark and is in no way shape or form anywhere near as great as Cary Grant. Also and Audrey Hepburn character cannot be played by a black girl...I'm sorry but it just dosn't work. Wow what a blog post, Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, Mark Wahlberg, Cary Grant, AND Audrey Hepburn. After saying that I only have a few more things to add: Sean Connery, Chris Walken, Harrison Ford, Humphrey Bogart, Betty Davis. Ok, now I am happy."

"ENOUGH! Survey asks: Courteney, if you were kidnapped by the mob for ratting on Bobby C and you knew they had every intention of torturing and maming you, which body part would you mind them cutting off the least?"

"Hmm...well I would have to say World Peace...oops...wrong window sorry. Well I suppose they can have one of my fingers...I've got nine others...but then...they couldn't have my thumbs because I've only got two of them...or my pinkies...or my index...or my ring fingers. Yeah...oh or my middle fingers either cuz I only have two of those too. As long as they dont take my nose...it's short enough already...andnot my elbow either...i'm self-concious about my elbows."

"I would have said fingers, the finger that Margot Teunenbaum lost at the farm. Get a wooden one to replace it and be a living tribute. Survey asks: Courteney, if after losing whatever body part, you and Bobby C found you had a real connection, started dating and thoughts began to form of a little house by hudson river. But before you can get married you've got to get in with the family, who'll feel jilted by you unless you ask the don for a favour. You know, one of those favours that you'll have to commit murder to repay... or even worse help him move. What favour would you ask?"

"Oh I dont have any problem asking people for favours...after all I am a Princess (whoosh). I also dont have any trouble commiting murder...after all I held Jade hostage for over a year...she kept leaving SOS Messages on the guestbook of my website until I was foreced to shut it down. Ok to answer the question: Yes Bobby, I will accept this rose. Oh damn...see I keep getting confused...there are too many questions in the world today. What should I eat for lunch? How can world hunger be solved? What colour should my hair be this week? Should I lie to my boyfriend or tell him the truth about sleeping with his sister? What favour would you ask of the mob? See what I mean? Ok, a favor from the mob...I would ask them to blow up 3 things:
1) The electronic sign at my school AKA biggest waste of money ever (by the way the principal of KSS is George Bush...at least it was him in my dream the other night).
2) The giant Paul Bunyon and his Big Blue Ox statue...I dont even remember where it is anymore...I just know I said I would blow it up.
3) The EVIL gnome on the way to Nanaimo...it needs to DIE. It has GLOWING RED EYES FOR FUCKS SAKE! CAN YOU SAY EVIL?!!!!????!!!!? Now that is a question for you: Who owns that and why is it still there?"

So this has been an interesting day...our first post together in some time. And it is a rather good one. But anyhoo, the Drama Queen has gone off to brush her teeth and I have invisible servants to order around. So more later darlings. Ciao.

--Betty and Al

NOTE *This blog in no way indorses smoking kittens or puppies, Pirates, actors, bashing movie remakes, plaque, oh hell...This blog in no way indorses this post.*

Yule Sponge Milk Buncy Love Queltezcotl Tintinnabulation Ass Tease

2006-06-07T16:22:00.000-07:00

The name of this post is the title of the following little dialouge I am about to present to you. It was written by Courteney and Lua and it is rather fabulous.

Open Scene: Lua: (roles in.) How are you? (She drawls)

Court: Wonderful thank you!

Lua: Why I do believe that is the best news that I have heard all morning.

Court: So happy to pleeeeease!

Lua: I was just on my way to market. I am hoping the dashing chap I’ve had my eye on as of late will be there.

Court: Why what a coincidence! I too was planning to go to market on a similar venture!
Lua: Really? How wonderful for me. Now I shall have a walking partner. Do tell, who have you set your sights upon. Mr Handred maybe?

Court: Ahahaha! Mr Handred? For you perhaps, but I could never settle for a dullard like Handred. I’m afraid my beau is more virile.

Lua: Virility is somewhat overrated these days. I was talking to Mildred the other day and she says her husband simply wont leave her alone…honestly she never gets a moments peace. I prefer a man who has other duties to tend to besides…himself. But no I am not looking at Mr. Handred currently.

Court: My dear, you only seek such a man, because you would not know how fill a real man‘s time.

Lua: Oh I think I have some idea of how I could fill…a real man. It’s just that I feel I have better things to do then be some man’s…love slave. Maybe that’s ok for some women but I have my own life to live and I don’t intend to spend it catering to my husband’s every whim.

Court: Love slave? How very oriental of you.

Lua: yes, well father has been spending quite a bit of time in the orient as of late…I pick things up here and there…it’s the new Paris after all.

Court: Oh yes, the new Paris. I know exactly what you mean. Who is you father doing in the Orient anyways. Oh, sorry I mean what.

Lua: He has a Business partner there. (in a whisper) I believe the man’s daughter’s name is Chereise.

Court: No wonder you despise virility so. Your father is incarnate.

Lua: (laughing politely) Yes Yes, enough about father for now…I am quite sick of the man…I do wish eh would hurry in going back to the orient. He drives mother and I quite mad when he is here. Mother misses half her charity events when he is home because of all the silly things he demands…I mean really that is why we have servants. So I decided to pick up some lace today in the market so mother can make a dress for me to cheer herself up.

Court: What are you blabbering about? Lace?

Lua: yes, lace is very big right now in the orient and if father ever gets around to taking me on one of his trips like he has promised I will need to be dressed better than anyone there. A lady must always look better than the common whores on the street, that’s what mother always says. She always has the BEST advice.

Court: Yes, mothers do always want better for there daughters then they had themselves. I just implied your mother was a whore. Where’s your repartee now!

Lua: You are an idiot. You must get it from your father. Subtle insults are a very hard thing to learn how to do and you managed that one beautifully…until you spoiled it by obviously and uncouthly pointing out what you had done. Simply horrifying.

Court: Oh, I was only uncouth for your sake my dear.

RIP

2006-05-26T17:44:00.000-07:00

John, we will miss you. You will be in our hearts and memories all our lives. Too young...too young.

YES!

2006-05-22T23:21:00.000-07:00

i love this way to much.

-Court

Betty and Al

2006-05-22T19:34:00.000-07:00

This is a post to tell you all that Ali is now called Betty and Courteney is now called Al.

Also, this is a picture of what happens if you put mentos in a 2 litre of coke.

Thank You All For Listening To This Very Important Post.

--Courteney

over-dramatized hypothetical situational conversation

2006-05-22T12:11:00.000-07:00

It was a dark and stormy night...
Well not so much stormy as just dark. And it got darker. Until it got lighter and it was daylight.
But daytime is not the issue here.
I'm talking about what happened that night.

Courteney and I (This post being written in the first person by Ali) got together this night and we enjoy the fresh night air of this dark night. We had deep intelligent conversation and discussed the important factors which influence our lives today. We broadened our spectrum with words and thoughts and feelings (of a non romantic nature, I should specify).

Having such a conversation we thought to write some of it down as to remember it later.
Unfortunately because... it was so dark... some of the words and spelling aren't entirely clear so I'll put stars beside things needed to be clarified.

"Nabil's an asshole *
Courteney is as ** Bitch
JJ's an asshole
we know.
In Siberia... it's so cold
icecles*** everywhere!
Ali you have plans next
saturday... WITH SATAN
(haha accuracy!)"

*Not an insult towards any charming young men with whom we are acquainted, it was just something amusing related to the conversation. You know... over-dramatized hypothetical situational conversation (the best kind)
** supposed to be "a" I believe
*** icicles

A Gift From Courteney...

2006-05-19T22:04:00.000-07:00

Even though the neighbourhood think I'm trashy...

2006-05-14T21:44:00.000-07:00

It's funny how certain childhood memories of no significance can stay with you for years and years.
I was just thinking about having a shower when I remembered a... well I guess a thought I had when I was in elementary school. At the time Grease was one of my favorite movies, naturally I knew the words to every song by heart.
I remember thinking about the song "There Are Worse Things I Could Do" sung by Rizzo.
You know... "There are worse things I could do, than go with a boy or two...."
Well I remember thinking about the lines: "I can stay home every night, wait around for Mr. Right. Take cold showers everyday, and throw my life away, on a dream that won't come true."
I understood the concept of the good girl staying home every night, no partying or fooling around with boys, because she's waiting for Mr. Right but the cold showers thing I wondered about. At the time I believe I guessed that cold showers are better for your skin or something along those lines.
My understanding of things is a little better now.
In fact I may go have a cold shower now, but believe me it has nothing to do with improving my skin.

What A Long Strange Trip It's Been In Forman's Basement.

2006-05-11T22:46:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else feel very sad about That 70's Show ending or is it just me?

I remember the first time I ever heard about That 70's Show. I was in grade 7 and my friend Emily had a picture from one of the machines in the mall...you know you get 4 shots for $4 and it takes 4 minutes? Anyways, it was of her and her then boyfriend Micheal (they were just MEANT to be together...lol). And underneath the picture on the white section her sister Kelsi had written "Jackie and Kelso". Of course I was 12 and watched like zero TV...so I asked what it meant...and Emily told me all about the show. I went home and watched it that night and I was hooked...I've now seen every episode except the final one which will air next week. *Emily was also the one who first told me about Friends. I've known both her and Micheal since I was 3 years old*

I have so many fond moments and memories that coincide with that show:Every morning for about 5 years I would get on the bus and wait about 8 stops until my best friend Kim *I've also known her since I was 3* would get on. And then we would talk about That 70's Show. All our fav. moments...Donna's hands speech got tons of laughs "I have the world's biggest hands!" as did Fez's famous "I said good day!".

I remember years later sitting in my boyfriend Nabil's living room with his sister *and one of my closest friends* Lua and just laughing hysterically over Jessica Simpson's guest appearance *"I DONT LIKE THINGS THAT BOUNCE!"* and her singing a beautiful song and everyone just kind of standing there all "umm ok."

So many times over dinner Nabil and I would look at each other and spout of the famous Laurie line "Burst into flame! BURST INTO FLAME!"

When I started...umm...not doing that thing that they do on the show...the lines would constantly come up. "That was a double degree burn!" "Lets call it 'JACKIE'"

To this day when I hear Space Cowboy, Shake Your Groove Thing, Love Hurts, etc. I think of the musical episode. It was my fav. by far.

When I was 13 and 14 I had the world's biggest crush on Hyde, when I was 15 it switched to Kelso...and of course I always adored *sigh* Casey.

So many times during an awkward silence someone will say "So there's this car...and it runs on WATER!"

So those are just a few of my fondest 70's memories... I grew up with the show and with the characters...so many of the things they do remind me of myself. Their graduation episode comes into my head often lately. Eric went away to Africa on the show at the same time that Nabil went away to Japan...we even broke up at the same time.

I am rambling but I feel that I need to do this. The show meant a lto to me...I remember being so depressed that all I had the energy for was watching it...and it always made me laugh...maybe one day someone I know will fall off a watertower...
LEO FOREVER!

"some people call me a space cowboy, some call me the gangster of love, some people call me maurice *guitar*"--Steve Miller Band

"what's new pussycat?"--Tom Jones

"hanging out...down the street...the same old things...we did last week"--Cheap Trick

--Court(who else...like Ali would get this dumb over something like this)

random awesomeness

2006-04-11T23:05:00.000-07:00

--Court

STAR WARS: EXPOSED!

2006-02-05T01:00:00.000-08:00

Obviously how it really happened....(note the fourth elipses:see earlier post)

Bah Humbug

2006-01-29T20:11:00.000-08:00

To post on the blog I've been waiting these past couple of days for some interesting thought to arise from within myself or to have an interesting experience to delight you with.
There has been no interesting thought, no interesting experience.
My life is a grey, empty slate.

Now while some old fools would tell me to get out into the world, see new places, find new experiences for myself, volunteer for a charitable organization, I say no! It's the world that made me into the dull, rough rock I am today and I'll be damned before I give it any of my time except in loathing!

Yes this is a new revelation happening here and now.
I am an Enemy of the Planet Earth.

In fact I am so dedicated to my cause that I'm of half a mind to start of organized club, perhaps a union or cult. I've gotten as far as the emblem at any rate. What I've ripped off from Superman will draw attention all by itself, mine is a flawless design.

Music...What's It All About Anyways?

2006-01-22T03:17:00.000-08:00

So all of my life my father has talked about how bad bands, musicians, and singers are that either cant play their won instuments, dont write their own songs, sell out for more money or fame, etc.

You know the drill, it's something alot of people feel strongly about, including me. Because I have been brought up to feel that way.

My dad is an amatuer guitar player/singer/song writer and he's actually getting pretty good. So there was a CD release party tonight for a CD that we were involved in and he played. Before the show he was getting all worked up and revved up to play.

He made breakfast and we sat there eating eggs and talking and somehow the topic of name recognition came up. Dad was saying how he knew that people would respond to seeing his name attached to things. We live in a small town so that is probably true...lots of people know and like him. So he's muttering on and on about it and finally, while still looking at his ham and eggs he says it:

"Name recognition is what music is all about anyways."

Now I was more than a little shocked, I didn't say anything I just stared open-mouthed at him. I could not BELIEVE what he had just said. There was about a 5 or 6 second pause of silence and then Dad looked up and started sputtering "I mean...not...you know...oh...".

So I started laughing and so did he but I made fun of him for it the rest of the day. People say the weirdest things when they are stressed out. He is like the LAST person on earth I would ever had expected to hear say that.

So that kind of made me day, just thought I'd share it. It was just such a funny(ridiculous/courtney love) thing to say anyways, let alone coming from my Dad. So I hope you enjoyed that, and if you didn't, HA! You read all that and got nothing out of it! Sorry I'm really tired, I should go to bed.

NOTE: Courteney in no way endorses Courtney Love bashing...even if she does make a mockery not only of rock but of the name Courtney...thank god we spell it differently or there would be hell to pay....Once again Courteney in NO WAY endorses Courtney Love bashing.

"And the dessert cart, rolls on."--Saturday Night Live

LICD

2006-01-16T06:47:00.000-08:00

"Least I Could Do" Update...Just Thought It Was Mildly Amusing.
-Court

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2006-01-01T01:34:00.000-08:00

2006! May it be the sexiest year yet....and may they just keep getting sexier as i keep on getting sexier...and my darling Alison too of course. Excellent, Simply Excellent!

-CourTENey

Chris! Oh, Chris!

2005-12-25T20:35:00.000-08:00

My love affair with Chris Walken continues...and he should know I'm single now...Chris if you're reading this...call me;) so here is my newest thing to add to the other things I have realting to this blog. I am also including another photo that I know Alison will greatly appreaciate.

--Courteney

Tomorrow In Japan

2005-12-24T17:48:00.000-08:00

some things aren't right in this cuz blogger sucks for posting poems...but w/e.
Tomorrow In Japan--A Poem By Courteney G. Malek

I follow you, my love,
can I catch your heart?
I am
489 days
behind…in spirit and in mind.

Yesterday: you say you love me and
I am addicted,
more love! more happy, happy love!

my life (so many tears…)
your life (so much laughter…)
together (we smile.)
but now, I laugh too…
this change has thrown us
off balance.

I am different
…I have not changed
I have progressed…
all I needed was a reason:
I will no longer be full of anxiety
nor will I let trouble harass me.

you helped me find reason.
in more ways than one.
I did not try to change for you,
I tried to change because of you.

489 days make you wiser.
I look to you--to guide me, to help me--
because I love you,
simply because I do.
I could list one thousand reasons
and still I would not have explained it.

then you are angry.
I am confused.
489 days…mean you can do no wrong?
I let it pass,
simply because I do.
I could try to ask you questions
and still I would not understand.

Today: I wish you would (could?)
adore me, think of me, need me, want me!
more love! more happy, happy love!

I am afraid.
You wish that I was not.
I may be afraid, but at least I don’t lie.
if I’m going to be afraid,
I want it to be…
with you.

you will not leave me,
yet.
you have a hard time breaking
promises.
it’s funny how easy it was to break
my heart.

Tomorrow: you will say things
that I am not sure you believe.
more love? more happy, happy love?

in 7 short words
“us” is broken
and soon they’ll all see
we can’t.

you will not give me your
tomorrows.
you do not want me anymore.
soon--you will not love me anymore.
and as you find someone new,
we will gain…
another faded friendship.

I do not need
tomorrows.
I’d be content with
todays.

Now: I see you do not
adore me, think of me, need me, want me!
no more love! no more happy, happy love!

you have no todays to give to me
or, and this I can only hope, anyone else.
your last today was 1176 hours ago:

it’s always tomorrow in Japan.

BEHOLD!

2005-11-21T22:07:00.000-08:00

Behold, the fourth elipses!

....

Seen in some Star Wars movies.

Just another wacky fact from the strange, but oddly compelling, mind of Courteney.

a lapse in memory

2005-11-02T18:57:00.000-08:00

Forget that I will at any moment lose my mind.
Forget that I built a house for my emotional baggage.
Forget that I am first, first and always first.
Forget that I can never truly be faithful.
Forget that I judge everyone to opposable standards.

Do you love me now?

Don't Leave Me This Way

2005-10-25T20:42:00.000-07:00

(This post best read whilst listening to Thelma Houston's 'Don't Leave Me This Way'. Disco dead? You wish...)

Baby, me heart is full of love and desire for you.
Now come on down and do what you gotta do
You started this fire down in my soul
Now can't you see it's burning out of control
Come on satisfy the need in me
Only the return of Casablanca can set me free...

Ali is a whee bit obsessive, this is true, but if you have seen the movies a dozen times or so and have developed as deep of an appreciation for this movie as I then you would understand.
I'm actually a little worried I'm going to stray from my path in life without a little steering from the beautiful character of Captain Renault.
He's so damned charismatic, so sly... so good at looking out for his own neck. He's got his priorities straight. I can only hope I can one day bear some resemblance... using my authority and power for sex from young down on their luck beauties. One day Ali, one day...

But I'll never be able to grow that little moustache of his. What a pity.

If I Could Just Take A Moment of Your Time

2005-10-16T01:11:00.000-07:00

I would like to announce that Christopher Walken is wonderful and I want to have a passionate love affair with him. Thank You,
Courteney

:This is strictly Courteney's opinion we in no way discourage namecalling, threats, or beatings directed towards Chris Walken(but if I ever find out you did anything to him...well you dont wanna know what I'll do to you-C:

Jennifer Beals - dear god!

2005-10-15T12:00:00.000-07:00

A Brothel you say?
Let's hire Jennifer Beals immediately. She's gorgeous no?
Only one woman can match that kind of sexiness but unfortunately I don't have any fishnets.

Well there is my up and coming burlesque house on the way but I must admit I had never planned to locate it in ParksVegas, I need to go to where the glamour is.
Actually I rather have a New York craving right now, and itching to take a bite of the Big Apple.

Forgive me, I have spoken loudly. A Rant By Courteney

2005-10-15T11:42:00.000-07:00

Well darling, it has come to my attention that we are in desperate need of something interesting in this town. I mean coffee is all good and well but really i think we need something of more substance...like a brothel or you know...something along those lines. *Sigh* I suppose I'll suffer without until I can move somewhere that does have simple everyday pleasures such as brothels. (hint to the owners of "The Fisherman's Daughter" in Qualicum...your store has the perfect name and location for a brothel)

:These are strictly the opinions of an extremely bored and goofy Courteney. Ironywasalreadytaken in no way indorses the sale of women or men for sexual pleasures:

"Shave Me!"

2005-10-12T00:09:00.000-07:00

Tut, tut, darling.
It is only due to the fact that I have such a profound respect for our dear Courteney that I did not delete that post on the spot.
What happened the other night isn't Wuv, or any silly kids games.
It was the art of seduction in it's truest and purest form. I'm serious when I call it an art, if I could post my seduction on this blogger, I swear I would do it.
It is the expression of my truest self.
Or my randiest self at any rate.

Rather like the above picture, minus the words "Shave Me!" written on my leg. Speaking of which...

Wuv Twue Wuv

2005-10-09T21:54:00.000-07:00

ali and james sitting on a bench. K.I.S.S.I.N.G.
lol..srry couldn't resist...sooo cute.

so spherical

2005-10-06T07:15:00.000-07:00

this is eryn. eryn lives at my house. eryn is a sphere. she is eve's sister.
www.freespiritspheres.com

building credit to Tom Chudleigh

ahh the little similes in life...

2005-09-28T07:01:00.000-07:00

i'm telling you...pigs CAN fly!

*ahem* anyways...that comic strip sums up my feelings exactly...how bout you?

A Letter to the Object of my Affections

2005-09-14T18:18:00.000-07:00

Dear the Object of my Affections,
My mind is in a fog,
forgive me if I don't speak clearly,
but I have a confession.
You've missed the signs,
the sighs,
the kisses I've never given.
Object of Affections,
perhaps you misunderstood when I said
I wanted you.
Did you take the gleam in my eye
as a joke?
Your lack of appreciation
for the tides of fear I held back
for you...
They almost swallowed me whole
and you took it as harmless flirtation.
My lungs were water logged
when you said nothing.
Object of my Affections,
I won't survive
without immediate mouth to mouth.
Be the life guard of my lust,
the water's warm.
Sincerely,
Lover

Mediocrity

2005-08-18T01:04:00.000-07:00

And here I am...speaking with my ridiculous accent(it's mostly french)...this is based on a real conversation between our two ravishing minds over a wine glass spin.
Read on darlings...
-Court.

If you are confused to can look to the key for answers.

Morals, the Berlin Wall, and Hitler are all one and the same(see key)...meaning men with moustaches have high morals, as do girls who have had a man with a moustache as an important figure in their life. Men with beards however have so many morals that all of their morals contradict each other, eventually liberating them.

Hitler, Lenin, and BJ were all born on April 20th (4:20). They work in a triangle with BJ(and his beard)on top, and Lenin and Hitler(with their moustaches)on the bottom. See below:

Lenin Hitler

Average people, we have decided, are much more important than intelligent people because we have beauty and that makes the world go round. Everyone loves us. We are like Raspberry and Blackberry Jam holding the Earth together. Obviously we are more important then those how you say?,stupid!, people...they are like blades of grass.

And Presenting... A New Poem By Courteney:

The Earth is like a pencil sharpener

An us, like pencils.

As we get older we are more and more sharp

Until we break.

We BREAK!

So we, the average people, are the jam holding the pencil sharpener together. The how you say?, stupid!, people are the mechanical pencils: you push on their heads and they get longer.

So here is how it goes: the beautiful people are like a jelly doughnut, with a hole in it, filled with Raspberry and Blackberry Jam. That doughnut is inside a tire swing, which is in a pool made with foam which is on top of a wagon. The wagon wheels over the grass as we sit on the top throwing out mechanical pencils like confetti. See below.

Jelly Doughnut With Hole.

(Filled With Raspberry[Ali]and Blackberry[Courteney] Jam)

^ We Are Throwing Mechanical Pencils^

--Inside Of--

Tire Swing

--Inside Of--

Pool Made Of Foam

--On Top Of--

Wagon

(Which Rolls Over The Blades Of Grass)

KEY:

Jam=Average But Beautiful People AKA Ali and Courteney

Blades Of Grass/Mechanical Pencils=How You Say?, Stupid!, People.

Pencil Sharpener=Earth

Hitler+Morals=Same Thing.They Both Stop People From Having Fun

Hitler=Moustaches=Morals

How Things Are Going To Be.

2005-08-08T22:31:00.000-07:00

i know i've been posting alot (i really should get my own blog...i will eventually) but i 've been writing some fun stuff...like this new one.
-Court

And time passed.
So here we are.

Is this how things are going to be?

She took the last of your soul with her when she left.
Left alone, I sit, with you holding my hand.
Left alone, I sit.

Her lips leave me without a clue of what I am here to be.

With her I lost all control, but still I have the power.
You don't call me anymore.
I am certain you'll never leave me.
Cut ties were never something you could pull off properly.

Sometimes, staying is the best punishment you can give.

Her love has changed something in me.
I just can't look at you the same way that I did.
You are mine but I am no longer yours.
I won't ever leave you.
Walking away takes too much effort.

If you had picked your clothes up off the floor, it might have prevented this mess.

Things go on like always.
It is no longer important to spend my days trying to understand you.
Her words make mine feel empty.
And time passed.
So here we are.
Is this how things are going to be?

This is how things are going to be.

No One Else Understands

2005-08-07T23:49:00.000-07:00

Throw me a pillow
Smother me beneath it
I’ll never admit
You’re stronger.

Tickle me on my neck…
Make me laugh.
Trace circles on my stomach…
Make me catch my breath.

Say that I’m ugly
I’ll call you fat…
But I know that you know
I want you.

Tell me you love me
I may say it back
You know how I feel
Despite silence.

Get angry with me
When I give you a look
The way that you care
Touches me.

Touch me
It sends shocks through me
Just like it did
The first time.

Leave me
I’ll wait for you…
You know you want me
Like I want you.

Play along
When I feel like being crazy
You’ll be rewarded
In the end.

Finish the song
That I’m singing
It always gets stuck
In our head.

Write love poems
That make so much sense…
At least to us…
No one else understands.

“You can’t make it!”
I beg to differ…
I think "we can"(to quote a great man)…
No one else understands.

Let Me

2005-08-04T01:11:00.000-07:00

so i wrote a poem. it is not just about sex i dont think, there is something more there...i'm not sure what it's about...but it poured out of me(at one in the morning conveiniently enough *rolls eyes*...one of the easiest poems i have ever written...i'm psyched to be writing again. enjoy...
i love you all and i know you love me...the one, the only...Courteney! (i'm a poet and i know it)

Let Me

tonight.
let me
be as nasty
as i can be.

all these dirty
thoughts… crawling,
on their hands and knees,
inside of me.

clawing at my
eyes, lips, ears, and mind,
telling me to bring them
to life.

tonight.
let me
say yes
to them all.

everything
that is so wrong…
you make me
crave.

my world
is in reverse:
what’s wrong is now right,
what’s right is wrong.

tonight.
let me
do things
you’ll never forget.

tell me
that it is wrong
that makes it even
better.

if i go there
how am i ever
going to
stop?

tonight.
let me
touch you
everywhere.

wanting everything,
wanting only you,
wanting everything,
wanting only you.

jealousy, emptiness,
love…
such love,
desire, need.

tonight.
let me
make you
my fantasy.

i think of it,
i picture it,
i crave it,
STOP ME!
[ah, but then i stop you]

take me,
take me,
i am forever,
only yours.

tonight.
let me
become a part
of you.

i yearn, i long, i wait,
i feel so exquisitely,
randomly,
beautiful.

i am everything.
you are nothing.
i am nothing without you
…and so you are everything.

tonight.
let me
reverse
your world.

love me always,
make me wild,
make me scream,
love me always.

i want everything
but i am only yours,
waiting until…
this too shall pass.

tonight.
let me
let you
give in to it all.

i am so scared.
i am so anxious.
i am so willing.
i am so happy.

i want it all…
but i cannot say it.
these thoughts keep clawing
from inside of me.

tonight.
let me
make them
our reality.

Farewell sweet love!

2005-08-01T18:53:00.000-07:00

Well it's a silly little poem, no masterpiece requiring skill or talent... but I find it funny.
So there.

My pen is deep blue,
It writes an Eulogy.
I am deeply blue too,
I write this Eulogy:

Farewell sweet love!
When push came to shove,
you, love did save me.
Now your cinders to sea,
For you, love have left
And I am completely bereft.

But ink will dry up
And so shall my tears.
I commit my tale to paper,
And will recall wisdom
To change the chosen weapon.

Quote The Pen is Mightier
than the Sword UnQuote
But the pencil shall biodegrade
and its commital not so remote.

My Pencil is blunt
And so am I.
Its dexterity to erase,
To change,
To mend,
To improve
And I am dexterous too.

Choice to change my weapon,
To change my story,
And to erase you quite from it,
To cleanse the sea
Of the dirt I threw in, my lament.

To mend you from ashes of the ocean...

To eraser flakes.

-Ali

Nature Can Be Beautiful...Or Evil.

2005-07-29T09:10:00.000-07:00

I return triumphant. It seems that myself and my boyfriend got lost up a mountain and had to walk four hours down a logging road until we got to Port Renfru (don't ask). Then we finally got to the family camp-out but I was in a monumental amount of pain because I have bad knees. All and all it turned out ok, but if I had died on that road I would have been very upset that I didn't die in my prefered way: Getting Shot By Someone's Wife, At The Age Of 80, While Climbing Out The Window. Dreams do come true sometimes baby!
Thank you for listening to my wonderful tale, if you want more details then ask.
Courteney

Cheers to litigation.

2005-07-28T19:46:00.000-07:00

It appears as though Courteney has gone somewhere.
I'm sure she told me where she was going, I'm sure I was mostly listening at the time.
But I'm absolutely sure I don't know where she is or any idea how long she'll be there.

Thankfully, that's not what's important.

The important thing is a strong, firm commitment to litigation (a legal proceeding - a judicial contest to determine and enforce legal rights). As it so happens this word is closely linked to enumeration (a numbered list or the act of counting) and without enumeration no one would ever now which was more appealing to the average consumer: Coke (a very popular carbonated cola soft drink sold in stores, restaurants and vending machines in more than 200 countries) or Pepsi (Coke's rival), for no one would have counted the number of litres, cans, bottles and cases sold by each company.
As it so happens I prefer Coke and as it so happens coke is how I used to spell the word choke. As it so happens that is ever important to the equation because it is closely tied in with a childhood memory of mine and a handful of my classmates (Grade 2 or 3, when there I was sitting in the middle of class whilst we ate lunch with both my hands raised straight up in the air, coughing my lungs out.)
As it so happens that is a great hyperbole (coughing my lungs out), just as it is with the sentence: "The Greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return". As it so happens (as I am just concluding in proving to you through a vigorous logic) the fact of the matter is the greatest you'll really ever learn is a strong, firm commitment to litigation.

Think it over a bit then.
-Ali

Ali Dearest

2005-07-18T14:25:00.000-07:00

Ali, sweetheart, baby, doll, lovah. i hope you are enjoying your day of working...i await your return.
this random message brought to form the random brin of Courteney.

A Wood Near Athens

2005-07-17T17:56:00.000-07:00

A shocking tale of love and loss...really we are brilliant geniuses...don't you agree Court? Absototalutly. Have fun figuring it out...

A Wood Near Athens

Near a wood near Athens
(yes we said wood),
Two lovers lived like acorns,
falling.
Not all that interesting, but
It makes a good picture.

Both birthed by one doctor,
who suffered a curse,
and all the babies, he would drop.
These two, unfortunately, landed
right on their pretty, bald
heads.

He was a gallant, young fellow,
but vain!
His hair roots ran so deep
they ran into
his brain.
But, as he was blonde,
rhyming was not his strength.
So, the rest of his verse
shall be free.

She was a lovely, young lady
but prideful.
She wanted a wise man,
-to be his bride.
The vain boy she loved
but he was such a dud
and she simply could not
obey her father.

Her father was a tyrant
causing tyranny
in his insistence that she marry
the one closest to her heart.
He had married a hag
-for wealth!
And as it turns out:
Gold has no medical properties
for [curing] agony.

Hence they fled from
nuptials grasp
-of course they went together-
into a wood near Athens,
vowing never to wed.

In a wood near Athens
(a wood is quite different from a forest you know),
they lived.
Eating berries, and honeysuckles,
and dancing
in pretty, green, glades.

It was a mystical wood
with sand dunes and tiny lakes,
where the fishing wasn’t at all good,
all was peaceful,
no sound was heard.

One day, as they discussed
their fowl,
the fairest fowl
to be found:
How many chickens for dinner?
“FORE!”
Well, we only have three.

This must have been
quite the shock to the boy,
for he fainted straight away
(a faint so strong he never awoke).

Seeing a round, white object
the girl suspected
FOWL PLAY!
Reading the object, she realized…
Maxwell had struck again.

In a wood near Athens,
the girl realized her mistake
and wished to wed her beloved.
To a nunnery she travelled
and found an old priest
-too blind to see just who she married.

In a wood near Athens,
someone cried.
A wife,
sitting next to her husband.
Never a kiss they shared
that was not cold and hard,
for his
head
was now quite
stone.

A Muse, Me?

2005-07-17T17:26:00.000-07:00

Another Poem From Our Fantastical Minds. Enjoy.

A Muse, Me?

How can you call me pushy?
I never
push.
In fact,
I am constantly
pulling
in the opposite direction.

Just because I’m
transparent
doesn’t mean that I’m
fragile!
Take this teapot
paint it clear
and stop calling me
demanding!

I will not
ask,
I will simply
entice.
It’s not that I eat
too many chocolates,
you just don’t buy me
enough.

Wish I could have some
Ice Cream
the headache would be worth it
but then….headaches
usually are.

There is a light bulb
hanging directly
above your head,
I feel like you should say
something brilliant.

I own
every word that you say,
every note that you play,
I did not write them
but I made them.

I can be more than your muse.
I am a muse meant
for greater things
and you know that you’re
greater things
solely because I made you.

Take the strings
from your piano
wrap them ‘round
this hollow wood.
Now, play me
…a concerto.

I listen
as you play your stories
upon your guitar
and let your soul
drip from your lips.

I can’t be seen with you.
You’ve dribbled insecurity
on your collar and
you’ve got heart
all over your sleeve.
I want a man
who shoots his own deer.
Why should I have to
aim,
point,
and shoot
for you?

Words fall down your cheeks
and splash on the ground
never to be heard again.
Evaporation works faster
then you’d think.

Let’s go
be dirty, wild, and cruel!
I didn’t want you to
cry
I wanted you to
cry out!

One day,
I will be a lounge singer
and there will be
men and showers
on stage beside me
(suds it up boys).

The nail polish on my
big toenail
is red
and chipped.
No, not chipped
…it just has character.

I saw your shadow
on the wall
and realized first
appearances can be
deceiving.

That clear,
blue,
stone
is the colour of my eyes.
but mixed with
yellow
sunshine,
it could turn
green.

Oblivious
to me
you continue
washing your hair.
Focus
can be a dangerous thing.

How would you know
I was stalking
you,
if you hadn’t been
watching
me?

Under your
interrogation light
I do not feel
interrogated
only appreciated,
I feed on your
spotlight.

Kiss me
and tell me that you
need me.
Then I can leave you,
I never go for the ones
who want me
back.

The clock counts down
the days
and my
impending death
comes closer with each tick,
talk
…about paranoia.

I find myself trying
to fit a quarter
into a dime sized slot
and I realize
I’m larger than life.

As I write
I feel a sense of
carelessness.
I care
less about the outside world,
more about the one inside my head.

I sigh,
not from
boredom
but from
happiness.
Funny how they both
sound the same.

It's Only Ironic If You Don't Have Hands

The Girls Are Back...

If I Let You...?

Texas Boys

it's so true.

RIP IAN

The Youth Of Today: Hey Hey?

probly the best line ever.

War...Huh?!?

RIP Neil

Sex: A Partial Guide By Betty and Al

court & jared

doncha know?

This, My Darling Ali, Is For You

Self Portraits

Portaits

The Tree!!!

Welcome Back To BC

we are SO doing this in jamaica!!!

I Got A Good Laugh...

Yeah, we ALL know who this is for!

Best Joke Ever

Deep Blue I Love You Truly

"Dial 'J' for Jake"

Ali, you should NOT leave Courteney alone!!!

Twuuuuoooh Wuv!

An Announcement

Shaken Not Stirred

The Perfect Murder?

Angel Carrot Verbalizing Stick Arm

a goose named jude

At least Ali's clones dont have friends named Courteney...

the OBVIOUS solution!

I'm blinded by your love

Subtle Sister

I officially ADORE Afshin

Darth Emo?

OMFG

SOB

A Birthday Poem From Our Biggest Fan

Party On Garth!

Water Is Thicker Than Blood...Well...Not Technically Speaking...But In Our Case It Is...Yeah.

Now THAT'S a super-villian!!! He even beats Uma as Poison Ivy!

the saga continues...

he's everywhere...especially on this blog...*ponders*

Man Vs. Nature

What A Beautiful Marriage

FUCKING ACTION!

Jumping On The Boat

Pussycats, Destiny, George, and Fuzzy Green Balls!

Gone Awry

*Sigh*

AND I'M BACK!

Na Na Na

"The Hill!"

We came, we saw, we couldn't care less

From The Minds Of: Courteney and Lua

This Weeks History Lesson Brought To You By: Courteney and Questionable Content

Hot? Or Not!

Master Peace

A Thought

A Prayer

Tofino, Careers, Princesses, And More! All Just $9.99 plus tax

Yule Sponge Milk Buncy Love Queltezcotl Tintinnabulation Ass Tease

RIP

YES!

Betty and Al

over-dramatized hypothetical situational conversation

A Gift From Courteney...

Even though the neighbourhood think I'm trashy...

What A Long Strange Trip It's Been In Forman's Basement.

random awesomeness

STAR WARS: EXPOSED!

Bah Humbug

Music...What's It All About Anyways?

LICD

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Chris! Oh, Chris!

Tomorrow In Japan

BEHOLD!

he's everywhere...especially on this blog...ponders

Sigh